Wondering, Wandering, and Writing

Fix It? Wait?

Sometimes life gets so overwhelming you absolutely need some help dealing with it.  It may be physical help, as in taming the pile of laundry or cleaning out the room of a deceased loved one.  It may be an errand-running-friend who can sit in the car with toddlers for three minutes while you run into an office.  (It takes longer than that just to get them out of and back into car seats.)  It may be emotional help, someone who sits with you on the porch and watches the darkness turn to dawn.  You may require professional medical care and a prescription; there is no shame in taking care of yourself.  Perhaps a pastor or friend will share spiritual insights.

 Of course, if you share your struggles, there may be a chorus of “You think YOU have problems?  Let me tell you _____________.”  Honestly, there usually are a lot of people in more difficult, perhaps even dangerous, situations.  

If you fail to shield your ears, you will hear, “Geez!  Suck it up, buttercup!”  Whatever is wrong is not really a problem, so put a smile on your face and get busy with whatever you need to be doing.

For Christians, there’s the sage advice to “Be still and know that I am God.”  Stop fighting the problem.  Just wait.  God will take care of it.

Some folks blame everything on every one else or anyone else and expect somebody to fix whatever it is that isn’t perfect.  For a while, this works.  Eventually, somebodies get tired of fixing everything and nobody is left to do anything.

So, in the midst of despair, depression, being overwhelmed, grieving, whatever the problem is, what do we do?

Depends on the battle.

Some battles are simply not mine to fight (nor yours).  We really have to be still and let things happen.

Sometimes we need to simply sit and wait for the dawn to arrive.

Counseling advice is to assess the situation, determine where you want to get to, and figure out a way to get there.  Don’t ignore the problem but admit it and deal with it.

Dealing with it may mean a lot of quiet time, alone with oneself and God.  There may need to be conversations with others to resolve issues and see if the relationships can be mended.  If they  can’t, forgive and move on.  Forgiveness frees you from carrying the burdens of resentment and bitterness.  The wrong is still wrong; you don’t have to reconcile, but do stop spending energy and time on “If I ever get my hands on so-and-so I’m gonna do this and that.”

For some battles, there is no tangible enemy.  Terrible stuff happens with no discernible cause.  Or the perpetrators get away with paying little or no price for the dastardly deeds.  An offender may not admit to being a part of, much less the cause of, the problem.  Admitting our own wrongs can hurt.  Forgiving ourselves can be difficult. Guilt, bitterness, revenge, hatred, and resentment are heavy.  They drag us down; sometimes immobilizing us. Forgiveness lightens your burden. 

In my experience, forgiveness always changes the forgiver.  Sometimes it will change the offender.  God, who tells us to forgive, will enable us to forgive.  When we lay down those burdens, we can more easily and joyfully face another day. #bgwww23